LR

1. Type up your teacher comments from your first draft.

WWW: you have the beginnings of an argument here in terms of analysing a text that offers a positive representation of women. However, this just isn't up to A2 standard for the following reasons.

EBI: Research and bibliography is level 1 at best. Its also incomplete-you put two good quotes from Heidelberg on page 3 of the essay but this doesn't appear in the bibliography. Its simple, if you want a higher grade you need to do a lot of research.

Written English-you fail to use capital letters in an A2 essay-thats shocking.

When you write about media texts, there is no actual textual. you dont use any media terminology or film language etc.
similarly, no media theory. What have you been learning for the past 2 years?
You need much mire on feminism, wider context, influence on audience and impact on society etc.

you have ALOT of work to do if you want to get a c+ grade.

1. Write what mark/grade you are aiming for in your second draft.

I want to at least be able to get over 25 to 30 marks. I want to be able to be on a solid C grade.

1. Write a numbered list of five things you will do or change for your second draft that will help you get there. Be specific and explain in detail.

• I will need to research more about feminism
• Read more articles and read more books about what i am writing about.
• I will need add alot of theories and research
• I will need to make sure that i include CLAMPS and Mise-en-scene etc.
• I will need to widen my vocab

Research and planning

1) Confirm your production brief. You write this yourself but it's absolutely crucial this is clear, appropriate and achievable. You should have done this already - the original blogpost was here - but it may have changed as a result of your preliminary exercise.

I will be showing a range of things in my video. It will be about a boy and a girl who are going out and then show how they had a fight and she is mental and then does some psychological things to him like beats him up, ties him up for days etc. I want to be able to show how the woman is being controlling, manipulative etc instead of the stereotype it being a man doing it.This will show how difference in the opening scene as people assume its always the guy acting like that.

2) Research: notes on at least THREE similar texts to the one you are creating. What are the key conventions? What can you learn/borrow from the examples you have looked at?

The fall is one of the texts I will be researching seeing. I will also be researching the way that X files uses some things will be good. X files is more sci-fi but as i am showing a psychological thing it should be good to use some elements from it.

3) Project schedule: when will you film and edit this production?

I want to be able to film it next week and start doing some things like getting my props and costume and actors together. I will be able to get the work done and then once i have finished filming i can then edit. I should be done filming within 3 weeks.  I want top be able to film during the holidays too.

4) Script - see the BBC Writers' Room for advice/script formatting. If you're making a music video, you'll want to write a treatment instead. This is an example treatment that I provided for GCSE Media students studying this topic.

Done-

5) Storyboard - sheets available in DF07 or you can use this AQA storyboard sheet.

Done-

6) Shot list - use Microsoft Word or a template like this to help you.

Done-

7) Mise-en-scene: casting details, location scouting with photographs, props, costume and make-up, lighting.

Actors-There is going to my friend Tara-she will bring two other boys with her-The main boy *jack* wioll be the most important as he has a big role and then we can find someone to pretend to be eating and choking in the end.

Location-The location will be in a toilet for the beginning scene- Then when he’s tied up that will be either in a garage or an abounded warehouse. There will need to be some space. Or instead she can be keeping him in the room at the back of her house.

Props-there will be a weapon involved-For example, a large knife, a gardening weapon like an axe or a spade. Fake blood and some bruising

Costume-*Amy* will be in all black weather its jeans and a black top or a black dress and she will have to wear black heels. *Jack* will be in a white shirt or black shirt and jeans. He will be casual as we are showing how powerful a female can be. This means she will have to look fierce and black is a colour that relates to death.

Make-up- *Amy* will have to wear some makeup as she will be shown as a hard character again and she will have to look pretty etc. Jack won’t need any makeup maybe some fake bruises and fake blood but that’s all.

Lighting- As this is going to be shot in daylight-we are going to need the natural light of the sun. We want it to look a bit gloomy so if it decides to rain then that’s good-it needs to be dull. There will be some artificial lighting where when they are showing the scene where they are angry and shouting-we will need to see what is going on.

script

Script

*She looking in the mirror and staying in the bathroom at this time*

Jack- She was a beautiful, smart, funny, normal girl. She would make me laugh all the time. She was perfect….

Until something changed.

Blank screen

*noise of her walking with her heels on*

Blank screen

*The weeknd-the hills starts from shot 13-18*

Blank screen

From shot 21 dialogue-

Amy- “You have been really, really bad to me. I didn’t like how you treated me. Always keeping me second best…”

Jack-“I didn’t I promise you were always MY number one!!”

Amy-“NO, NO, NO!!! DONT LIE TO ME!!”

Jack-“what do you mean?”

Amy-“what do I mean? *laughs hysterically*” “WHAT DO I MEAN? Are you stupid! I always gave you everything-until you wanted to be with your friends more and be with your family.”

Jack- “They had to be a part of my life too. They are my family and friends.”

Amy-“wasn’t I enough?”

Jack-“You were. But they are  family I had to see them sometimes. I love them, I LOVE you…”

Amy-“shut up, shut up SHUTUP!!! I’ve had enough of you talking I thought you would have try to prove yourself to me.”

*Tries to put duct tape around his mouth again*

Jack-“No no, I can prove myself-I promise”

Amy- “How?”

Jack-“Untie me and I can prove it to you.”

Amy-“No! You will just run away like the others did! I have to teach you a lesson!”

Jack-“what do you mean “teach me a lesson”?

Amy *laughs*

Jack- “WHAT DO YOU MEAN!??”

Amy-“You never understood did you?”

Jack- “Understand what?”

Amy- *laughs*

Jack- “THAT’S IT UNTIE ME YOU CRAZY BITCH!”

Amy-“Don’t call me that!”

Jack- crazy Bi…. Amy puts duct tape around mouth

Amy- “That’s better now I won’t have to hear you cry when I kill you..

Jack-tries to breath

Amy *She stabs him in the back*

Blank screen

*sits at a table*

Boy- Yes loves a good brekkie!!

Amy-Yes I know you do..

Boy-eats really fast as he’s hungry (he’s happy) a minute later realises something is wrong and choking on his food

Amy *smiles at the camera*

shot list

Shot no:	Shot type	Details of shot	Timing
1	Medium shot	Of her looking at herself in the mirror	3 seconds
2	Close up	Washing blood off her hands	3 seconds
3	Medium shot	Medium shot of her staring in the mirror so you can see the reflection	3 seconds
4	Blank	Black screen	2 seconds
5	Medium shot	Of her black heels	2 seconds
6	Medium shot	Walking  in her heels and a weapon that she’s holding	4 seconds
7	Long shot	Of her walking towards her boyfriend	4 seconds
8	Long shot	Keep seeing her walk towards him-hes tied up in a chair	4 seconds
9	Close up	Of the boyfriend	2 seconds
10	Medium shot	Of those two looking at each other	2 seconds
11	Medium close up	Seeing her rip the duck tape off his mouth	4 seconds
12	Blank	Black screen	2 seconds
13	Long/medium shot	Of them arguing	5 seconds
14	Long/medium shot	Arguing and she’s  hitting him	5 seconds
15	Medium shot	She pushes him onto the floor	5 seconds
16	close up	Of her getting the hard item and hit on he back of the head	4 seconds
17	Close up	Her face is in shock as he’s not moving	2 seconds
18	Close up	She then smirks at the camera	3 seconds
19	Blank	Black screen (goes back to the part when he’s tied up in a chair)	2 seconds
20	Close up	Of the boy and girl making eye contact together	3 seconds
21	Medium shot	Girl walking around the boy	4 seconds
22	Medium shot	Him trying to calm her down	10 seconds
23	Medium shot	Her laughing and talking to him	10 seconds
24	Medium shot	Those two talking more	5 seconds
25	Medium shot	Tries to put the duct tape around his mouth	5 seconds
26	Long shot	Him talking to her trying to convince her to be better	10 seconds
27	Medium shot	Puts duct tape around his mouth	4 seconds
28	Medium shot	She’s behind him and says something to him and kills him	4 seconds
29	blank	Black screen	2 seconds
30	Long shot	She finds another boy and sits at the table with him-they talk	5 seconds
31	Medium close up	He coughs whilst eating	3 seconds
32	Close up	Of her smiling	3 seconds
33	Blank	Black screen	end